I Just Found Out I'm a Millionaire, Son!

I found out just moments ago that my kidneys are worth up to 1.5 million dollars a piece.  While I don't plan on

 cashing them out its good to know.  Seriously though, this is actually a strange and sad story about a relationship... and this time the guy didn't f--k up.  So there is this surgeon on Massapequa, NY (shouts out to all my Massapequa gangstas) and he falls in love with one of his patients.  So he marries her in 1990, has three kids with her, and (this is how you know dude LOVED this woman) gave her one of his kidneys to save her life back in 2001.  I mean a lot of people claim shit like "Love is never saying 'I'm sorry'" or you know "Love is being able to wake up to the same person day after day". F--k that. Love is when you donate one of your vital organs to a person.  And get this, he finds out that she is cheating on him. WHAT THE FUCK.  Like, I'm not saying that John Edwards was right for cheating on his wife while she was fighting cancer... but his wife didn't donate one of her vital organs to him.  So the doctor decides he wants a divorce, and she can have the house, the cars, the kids, all that. What does he want? Wait for it... Wait for it... That's right, he wants his f--king kidney back.  She can either give him his kidney back, or she can pay for it. 1.5 million is the price tag on the kidney.  Where did that price come from? Is there a Kelley's Blue Book value on vital organs?  I am a firm believer in being the bigger person when you have a conflict with a person, but dammit if you love someone so much you want to spend the rest of your life with them AND you give them a kidney, and they turn around and start boning someone else?  Fuck it, you can be a petty as you want when it comes to the divorce proceedings.  I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6591415