This is SO Gangsta!!!!

Can someone please make some decent ninja movies so that this guy can star in them. PLEASE!

Feedback...

Hey... can I get some comments please? I didn't think I would have to ask for this, but its nice to get a few comments on posts so I know if you all are or are not (god forbid) feeling the material on the site. That is all.

-©HRIS

Bo Jangles Live! Episode 6

I discuss mega markets, rapper beef, and wall street. Two videos in 2 days?? I must really love y'all.

OOHHHH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!

... (speechless)

Nike Does It Again

More from the Nike "Most Valuable Puppets" series. This is my favorite. "Lebron, you have over 20 triple doubles... Can I have one?"

Bo Jangles Live! Episode 5

I discuss milkshakes, rap, women's body image, and my own person technology fails.  

Black Folks

This is a new video from rapper Curt@!n$. Joint is real militant. Dude can spit, I have his mixtape though and I have to say that while this real politically charged, a lot of his other stuff isn't... Dude spits hard though...

Another One Bites the Dust

This time the rapper is on the other end of the K.O. Fast forward to a minute in and enjoy. The fact that the show didn't miss a beat is HILARIOUS!!!

Random Flavors...

So I was on the road today, traveling home to see my younger sister graduate from high school, and I stopped at a gas station so that both my car and myself could get some sustenance. I went inside, hoping to get myself a snack and some tasty beverage, and was flabbergasted at the variety of drink options that I had. This initial amazement, however, quickly turned into disgust as I realized how incredibly retarded the types of drinks that were available were. All different types of drinks with random flavors and additives got me thinking: what the f**k happened to regular soda?? Seriously, when was the las time a new regular soda came out? Everything has some new crazy catch to it. There must be a department whose job is to come up with the most ridiculous flavors ever with something that just shouldn't be in soda. Who really wants Caffeine Diet Dr. Wild Cherry Pespi Zero Max Plus with a Hint of Boysenberry? If you want fruit flavors, eat fruit or drink juice.  If you want a low calorie beverage, drink water.  If you want an energy drink, drink an energy drink.  If you want to lose weight and gain valuable nutrients, what the f**k are you doing drinking soda.  That sh*t has two essential ingredients: water and high fructose corn syrup... That's pretty much it.  And high fructose corn syrup will kill you according to my homeboy Nick Trinh.  So everyone, please boycott retarded sodas so that companies will take them off our shelves.  That is all.

Charles Hamilton gets ROCKED!

This video has been floating around the blogosphere for a while now (sidebar: did you know that "blogosphere" is now a word that can be spell checked?? You learn something new every day, I tell you). This woman is supposedly his girlfriend and, to be honest, he gets what he deserves. But look at the form. Real talk, she could have a career is boxing. She straight turned into Manny Pacquiou. To Charles's credit he did not retaliate and kept his composure even after the camera stopped rolling.

What I'm Listening To: Drake

Drizzy Drake has a new mixtape out that has some new material and a lot of old stuff.  This mixtape isn't as coherent as So Far Gone or Comeback Season, but its got some bangers and if you are like me and have already played the hell outta "Sooner or Later" and "Uptown" you will appreciate some new material. Hey, Zaq! Here's some new music you can kill on your iPod!  Link below as usual, thanks to the smokingsection.com:

The Empire & Drake - The Drought Is Over: Friends With Money Mixtape

More LeBron and Kobe Puppets

This stuff is GENIUS! "For each one of these delicious chocolate chip cookies, there is an equally delicious N-B-A championship ring, that you don't have."

SBPSPLACL: Identifying Racial Injustices

IT'S BACK! Or rather, its the second installment of Stuff Black People at Small Private Liberal Arts Colleges Like.  For this installment, I have identified one of the primary drivers for Black students at predominantly White colleges across the country: identifying racial injustices... even when they probably don't exist.  Why is this the case?  Well, secretly the vast majority of Black students in college wish they were a civil rights leader of some sort.  After years of going to Martin Luther King Day celebrations as an elementary and middle school student and that Intro to African American Studies class Tyrell took his freshman year of college, he is ready to become the next Huey Newton, A. Philip Randolph, or Bayard Rustin (no homo).  All he needs is a cause.  Some reason to mobilize the masses... or 12 of his homeboys, that group of 5 or so Black girls with natural hair that is always accosting the girls with relaxed hair, and that White kid that also took the Intro to Af. Am. Studies class that has the cleanest fitteds on campus.  It doesn't take much either.  Maybe his friend Der'on was asked to leave a fraternity party? Granted... Der'on was the only Black person asked to leave, he kept f*cking with the iHome putting on whatever rap music he could find because even though its not his house or his party, and he was asked 6 or 7 times by the guys who live in the house to stop... BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS! Racism has reared its ugly head and its time to squash it!  First, Tyrell starts by notifying the appropriate authority figures via email, which probably reads something like this:

Dear, Administrative Establishment

On the evening of October 23, in this the 2009th year of our Lord, a grave injustice took place at 123 Mockingbird Lane.  Der'on Anderson was removed from a party that was supposedly open to all students by the current residents without rhyme or reason.  After conversating with Der'on (note the invention of the word "conversating". Tyrell ignored the red line underneath the word), we have determined that the only thing that distinguished him from the others enjoying the festivities was the color of his skin.  We feel that swift and decisive action should be taken against the current residents of 123 Mockingbird Lane, and an investigation should be conducted to determine whether this catastrophe was the result of individual prejudices or system racism upheld by the broader fraternity culture.  If our demands are not met, we are prepared to alert both national and local media outlets of your tacit consent (Tyrell learned about "tacit consent" in his Intro to Political Science course.  This seemed like an appropriate application of the term to him).

Sincerely,

Tyrell Jam'aal Smith (this is the first time he has ever used his full name in an email. Usually he signs them "Ty")

BSA Recording Secretary

(Insert some founding father's last name) College

Class of 2011

After the email is sent out, Tyrell and his homeboys will wear nothing but black clothing for at least 3 or 4 days.  During this time period, t-shirt will be made that say "REMEMBER MOCKINGBIRD LANE" on them which no one will wear.  Slowly, but surely... actually within a week of the incident happening, the situation will be explained.  Tyrell will try and maintain his militant stance has do everything he can to hold the fraternity members accountable for what is now a grave misunderstanding.  Der'on will actually become friends with the guys who threw him out because, "deep down... they are mad cool".  Tyrell, on the other hand, will just wait quietly for the next injustice to rear its ugly head so he can pounce and claim the greatness he was destined for and join the ranks of Malcolm, Martin, and (of course) Pac...

Rick ROUSE explains himself

So we have an explanation for the "fake LV's" that the "biggest boss that we have seen thus far" was wearing on the cover of XXL.  Apparently they are customized Louis Vuitton's from Jacob "Sunglasses Pimp" Bernstein.  Mr. Ross equated it to buying a Rolls Royce Phantom and having it tricked out... I guess.  But this is like getting a Phantom and having a larger more obnoxious version of the hood ornament put on top of the roof of the car.  And I personally would question the legitimacy of someone who is referred to as the "Sunglasses Pimp" but apparently he has done shades for Jay-Z, Kanye West, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Sharon Stone, Fergie, Gwen Stefani, Brad Pitt, and Usher... At the end of the day, Rick Ross is still the best ex-policeman rapper the game has seen. BOWSE!

Def Jam Contract: $5,000,000

Louis Vuitton Millionaire Sunglasses: $1,500-2,000

Fake A** LV logo on Sunglasses: $1,500

Rapping about being a gangster and a drug dealer for years only to admit that you were once a corrections officer, even though you denied it for months... then trying to pass being a corrections officer off as "hustling": Special

The Tragedy that is... R&B Singers' Goodies on the Internet

Some of you may have heard that photos were leaked on the internet of singers Rihanna and Cassie bucket-naked (c) Denisio an 'nem.  While some of my male readers may be thinking, "WHERE?" (COUGH! http://2dopeboyz.okayplayer.com/2009/05/08/rihanna-rehab-f-justin-timberlake-video-2/ AHEM! COUGH! COUGH! http://thebosh.com/archives/2009/05/singer_cassie_nude_pictures_leaked.php HMMM!) excuse me this is much sadder a situation than it may initially seem.  

First off, Rihanna hasn't admitted that the photos are actually her and is trying to play the "Well if I don't say they are of me, then they aren't of me game".  F*ck that.  The pictures are of her. Dammit one of the photos is of Chris Brown with panties on his head. HMMM? I WONDER WHO'S DRAWS THOSE COULD BE?? And Cassie... Well I have already established that Diddy has run her career into the ground and I guess now she wants to show Daddy that she is a big girl and can do bad all by herself.  Its not like she wears much clothes on a regular basis anyway, she still can't sing, and she still needs a gravy i.v.  If the leaked photos weren't enough, she VOLUNTARILY posted pictures of her looking... well... I will let you decide how she looks.  

Fashion statement, or cry for help? You decide. Thanks to 2dopeboyz.okayplayer.com for the photo. 

It's a Recession Y'all... For Real

All I can say to this is DAYUM.  

CNN) -- Postal authorities say a Michigan postal worker has admitted to stealing some $20,000 worth of first-class stamps since September and trying to sell them to online auction-site customers to help pay his mortgage.

An arrest warrant has been issued for John Auito, 42, of Macomb, Michigan. Auito, a postal employee since 2003, resigned after investigators confronted him on April 30.

He has made arrangements to turn himself in, authorities said.  Deputy Special Agent-in-Charge Breck Nowlin of the USPS Office of the Inspector General told CNN that Auito has admitted to stealing stamps that were being shipped to retail stores, and he said he used the money from selling them to make delinquent mortgage payments.

Nowlin said Auito was contacting customers of the online auction site eBay, and offering to sell them stolen stamps at below-retail prices.

A call from CNN to a listing in Macomb, Michigan, for John Auito was not answered.

I mean thats rough.  He stole $20,000 worth of stamps.  That's a lot of f**king stamps, yo!  This is some sh*t from a stoner movie. I can see it now.  John is chillin' in his basement, drinking some beer with his buddies, talking about life.  All of a sudden, one of his buddies has the most retarded idea ever but because they are drunk and/or high it sounds genius to everyone except John who would be the only one executing the plan... and the only implicated if it didn't work.  Eventually, though, John gets so drunk and/or high that it becomes a good idea to him. I personally don't know what kinda people are buying stamps from online auction sites, but dude got his hustle on for real in those regards.  Honestly, I don't know if I could fire dude... Wait... Nah, I could.  Dude stole $20k worth of merchandise. Gotta let him go.  Sh*t is still sad though.

RICKY ROUSE!

This had me ROLLIN! Shouts out to the folks at 2dopeboyz.com for putting this up.  

Dear Editor:

We were dismayed to see the cover of the May 2009 issue of XXL Magazine, which features a photo of Rick Ross wearing a pair of sunglasses prominently featuring counterfeit Louis Vuitton trademarks. Because the photo has generated considerable confusion among your readers and Louis Vuitton customers among others, we feel it is important to clarify several points.

The first is that the sunglasses Mr. Ross is wearing were not made by Louis Vuitton, and in fact, are counterfeit. Louis Vuitton did not grant permission to Mr. Ross or to whoever did make the sunglasses to use our trademarks. The second is that no affiliation, sponsorship or association exists between Rick Ross or XXL and Louis Vuitton. The third is that counterfeiting is illegal.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to correct the confusion.

Sincerely,

Michael D. Pantalony, Esq.
Louis Vuitton Malletier

Dead at the fact they had to clarify that there is no affiliation between Louis Vuitton and Rick Ross.  I don't understand why Louis Vuitton wouldn't want to align themselves with the Biggest Boss that we have seen thus far? He knows Noriega... the REAL Noriega no less.

Lebron and Kobe Puppet Commercial

This joint had me DYING when I saw it on TV. The marketers at Nike have done it again. This wasn't selling anything, and it made me want to buy something from Nike. Some Nike Dri-Fit, a headband, one of those Livestrong bracelets, something.

Memories from Spring Break 09

We hit up the mall over spring break and Ne-Yo came on while we were in Express.  I tossed Zaq a hat, and here is what happened.

What I'm Listening To: Q-Tip, D'Angelo, Raphael Saadiq

Tip, D'Angelo, and Raphael Saadiq have a new mixtape out called Lynwood Rose.  If you are Black, between the ages of 20 and 35, and have some education beyond high school, you probably had an orgasm after you read the first sentence.  The whole album is killer.  Raphael Saadiq and Q-Tip have been ahead of their time since they broke into the industry, and D'Angelo can straight up sayng (for those of you who aren't familiar with the term "sayng", it means to sing at a level that involves more interactivity between the crooner and the listener.  This typically involves the closing of the eyes, swaying from left to right, and the occasional throwing of undergarments at said crooner).  To pick a hand full of tracks that stand out would be a disservice.  The link to the album is below.

http://www.zshare.net/download/59777437a5b8f9f6/

My First Apartment

For those of you who don't know, I will be working for the university next year in the Office of Admissions.  Since the Office of Admissions doesn't have any openings in their New York or London offices, I will be in the international headquarters in good old Lex Vegas for two more years.  I went and did the apartment hunt, and after a 3 day search (two of which I saw nothing but  apartments that strangely resembled housing projects) I found a nice spot, in town, and with decent rent.  It is a newly renovated studio (so newly renovated, they aren't even done yet).  It comes with a stove, refrigerator, convection microwave... and church pew.  

Peep the Gatorade on the counter.  These dudes are putting in work on my aparment.

Come June 1st, this will be my place of residence

The bathroom. 

My pew

What I'm Listening To: Cool Kids

Check out the new Cool Kids mixtape with Don Cannon. Joint is FIYA. Link is below.

Stand out tracks:

Hammer Bros.

Cinnamon

Premium Blends

Jump Rope

Taking a Break

Weekend Love

Summer Vacation

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZAL31UHJ

The Return... Again

Ok, so I'm back.  Its Spring term (the third trimester for those of you who aren't familiar with W&L). My last semester EVER as an undergrad.  I'm at work study, snackin' on some wasabi roasted green peas (you all need to get up on them because they are FIYA!), and listening to my "I'm a grown a** man now and I can't just chill and listen to booty-butt-coon music anymore" playlist.  I promised y'all I would be posting more this term and trust there have been projects in the works but nothing completed.  As usual I am trying to do too much.  Aight... back to work for me.  And, yes... I do work with big a** sunglasses on my face.