Hey Bo Jangle!

Drake "Best I Ever Had" Video

2009-07-02T13:02:00.002-04:00

This is probably the most anticipated music video of '09. Now, I am not a fan of the objectification of women but this joint is HILARIOUS. I want to know where they got all those f**king amazons from though. They are HUGE!

WOW. Just, WOW.

2009-06-26T01:26:00.002-04:00

If I were Mike and I saw this, I wouldn't want to go on either. Todays rap is ass and now so is the Louisiana state legislature.

Really TIME Magazine???

2009-06-24T22:10:00.002-04:00

Really TIME Magazine??? This is news (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1906642,00.html?cnn=yes)??? "Is An Ugly Baby Harder to Love?" For real? I mean come on. Like you all know I try not to mince words, but how you gonna call babies ugly?? You can go to the site to read what they did, but basically they showed people pictures of healthy babies and sprinkled in babies with facial deformities like cleft palates and skin conditions and saw how long it took for them to skip the pictures of babies with facial deformities. These babies have deformities that are no fault of their own or their parents. How you gonna call the babies ugly? Now if its your friend and they get with that girl thats cock-eye and snaggle-toofed (snaggle-toof translation: has poor dental hygiene and could use an orthodontist) but she had a big ole' booty and... well you can fill in the rest, and they end up having a baby and the baby is cock-eyed and snaggle-gummed (the pre-cursor to being snaggle-toofed), then MAYBE you can call the baby ugly. Unfortunate is more appropriate. But TIME shouldn't be calling babies "ugly" because they have cleft palates and skin conditions. Now what would be a good piece is to see if its harder to HIRE somebody with a retarded name. That would be a great study so people would stop doing injustices to their children.

I Feel Compelled to Say...

2009-06-23T19:55:00.002-04:00

Yung L.A. the back (and sides) of yo head is ridicolus (and not in a good way). This boy needs a mentor, some guidance, a barber with some sense, SOMETHING!

Leave It to the British

2009-06-22T04:03:00.000-04:00

I saw this on Kanye's blog and it was really well done. Funny too.

For Those of You on Tumblr

2009-06-22T04:00:00.002-04:00

I am now on Tumblr too (c-benjamin.tumblr.com) and all NEW Bo Jangle's stuff will show up there too as well as here. Be on the look out for my new online project coming soon!

What up everybody. I now

2009-06-22T02:31:00.001-04:00

What up everybody. I now can post directly from my phone for posts on the go and if I can figure out how to do video and pictures its a wrap.

I'm on a ROLL Today

2009-06-19T21:39:00.002-04:00

This episode is a prime example of why I love Amanda Diva. And big ups to Curt@!n$, I did not know his people were from St. Vincent.

Please Watch Until the Very End

2009-06-19T21:15:00.001-04:00

This shit is real. Peep the IMDB and Wikipedia pages.

TV is going to hell

2009-06-19T20:14:00.002-04:00

I was in the middle of what I believe to be a good blog post (it should show up in a few right below this post) and something came on TV and I was immediately compelled to post on this. Apparently, the brilliant producers at BET thought that it would be a great idea to give Lil' Wayne's ex-wife Toya and T.I.'s um... homie, lover, friend Tiny a show. I will not be watching this, but I just want to know who the hell thought this was a good idea?? Seriously. Toya and Wayne were married back when they were like 16 (not even playing) and haven't been together for YEARS. So off the top, Wayne isn't going to be on the show that much. Tiny and T.I. are still together, so to speak, but T.I. is in jail. Why would I want to watch the partners and past partners of rappers? And don't try to tell me about how they are accomplished women or some sh*t like that. I know Tiny was in Xscape, but when was the last time you hear a hit from Xscape? Hmm?! There are plenty of accomplished women who they could have given a show to. What about Jada Pinkett-Smith?? Or even better, Rashida Jones?? HMMM??? Where are the TV shows that follow these women's lives? Much in the same way that I don't want to hear rappers' sons rap, I don't want to see their ex-wives and girlfriends on TV. Period. What's next? Shows profiling hype men after they get old and lonely...

P.S. What is wrong with Tiny's face? Its like its made out of Silly Putty or something, like... its droopy.

Bro Mitzvah

2009-06-19T19:41:00.001-04:00

Either this kid is going to be the face of a new generation of comedy... or we are going to turn on the TV one night and see him being escorted in handcuffs from a 7/11 for armed robbery. I can't call it. But this joint is pretty funny.

Man...

2009-06-19T00:36:00.003-04:00

F**k Youtube! Yeah I said it. I created a slide show for my class and those dirty bastards took the audio off of it when I uploaded talking about some "copyright infringement" bullsh*t. REALLY WARNER MUSIC GROUP?!! Is that what you are on??? ANYWAY! I knew I needed to get this to the people so I took it to the streets! Rather, I took it to zshare, where you can post damn near anything and no one cares. The link is below.

http://www.zshare.net/download/615700127601b8b5/

Favorite People of the Moment: Rashida and Jada

2009-06-18T21:53:00.002-04:00

My new favorite people of the moment are far more accomplished than their hood rat-esque names would suggest. First off, Rashida Jones. Many of you may know her as Karen from the Office, I'm going to be real with you all, I don't even watch the office like that. I saw her on something and thought to myself, "Damn, if only I had the opportunity to meet her... I would marry her." So I hit up Wikipedia, like any other curious person hoping find some information that will lead him to the woman of his dreams via the internet would do, and SURPRISE I found out she was the daughter of none other than Quincy Jones. On top of that, she is damn near a genius, attending Harvard, becoming involved in semi-secret societies and sh*t. From there she has been involved in so many different creative endeavors I can't even begin to list them. She also is RETARDED ATTRACTIVE. Like for real. She is now on a show called Parks and Recreation. I haven't seen it... but I bet she looks fine as hell--I MEAN I bet she is funny as hell and I hope the show continues on.

To my next favorite person.

Jada Pinkett-Smith. My Lord. What can I say about Jada that hasn't already been said. She is an author, actor, producer, director, mother, and once upon a time she had a rock band. Man, she was my favorite character on A Different World. This woman has done it all and like Rashida she falls into that category of women that are RETARDED ATTRACTIVE. Now folks, I don't want you all to get the wrong idea about me. I am not some sex starved, superficial Neanderthal that can see past some perky breasts and a round butt, part of what makes these women so attractive is the fact that they are so incredibly successful at everything they do. With that being said... Jada was on 106 and Park the other day and had on this mini skirt and I swear my heart stopped. She has a new show out called Hawthorne where she plays a chief nursing officer in Richmond, VA. It has a decent balance of humor and drama and may be the reason I start paying for cable at my place.

If I met either one of these women in real life... I might cry. Real talk...

New Kobe and Lebron Puppets

2009-06-17T21:02:00.003-04:00

I know there have been about 3 or 4 commercials that came before this one, but this one is probably my second favorite after the "Lil Dez" ones (minus the Lil Dez rap. I can do without that one).

Bo Jangles Live! Episode 7

2009-06-13T22:52:00.002-04:00

This is SO Gangsta!!!!

2009-05-30T23:43:00.001-04:00

Can someone please make some decent ninja movies so that this guy can star in them. PLEASE!

Feedback...

2009-05-30T23:37:00.002-04:00

Hey... can I get some comments please? I didn't think I would have to ask for this, but its nice to get a few comments on posts so I know if you all are or are not (god forbid) feeling the material on the site. That is all.

-©HRIS

Bo Jangles Live! Episode 6

2009-05-30T23:34:00.001-04:00

I discuss mega markets, rapper beef, and wall street. Two videos in 2 days?? I must really love y'all.

OOHHHH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-30T21:51:00.001-04:00

... (speechless)

Nike Does It Again

2009-05-30T18:13:00.001-04:00

More from the Nike "Most Valuable Puppets" series. This is my favorite. "Lebron, you have over 20 triple doubles... Can I have one?"

Bo Jangles Live! Episode 5

2009-05-29T23:11:00.004-04:00

I discuss milkshakes, rap, women's body image, and my own person technology fails.

Black Folks

2009-05-27T00:32:00.003-04:00

This is a new video from rapper Curt@!n$. Joint is real militant. Dude can spit, I have his mixtape though and I have to say that while this real politically charged, a lot of his other stuff isn't... Dude spits hard though...

Another One Bites the Dust

2009-05-26T01:20:00.001-04:00

This time the rapper is on the other end of the K.O. Fast forward to a minute in and enjoy. The fact that the show didn't miss a beat is HILARIOUS!!!

Random Flavors...

2009-05-26T00:39:00.003-04:00

So I was on the road today, traveling home to see my younger sister graduate from high school, and I stopped at a gas station so that both my car and myself could get some sustenance. I went inside, hoping to get myself a snack and some tasty beverage, and was flabbergasted at the variety of drink options that I had. This initial amazement, however, quickly turned into disgust as I realized how incredibly retarded the types of drinks that were available were. All different types of drinks with random flavors and additives got me thinking: what the f**k happened to regular soda?? Seriously, when was the las time a new regular soda came out? Everything has some new crazy catch to it. There must be a department whose job is to come up with the most ridiculous flavors ever with something that just shouldn't be in soda. Who really wants Caffeine Diet Dr. Wild Cherry Pespi Zero Max Plus with a Hint of Boysenberry? If you want fruit flavors, eat fruit or drink juice. If you want a low calorie beverage, drink water. If you want an energy drink, drink an energy drink. If you want to lose weight and gain valuable nutrients, what the f**k are you doing drinking soda. That sh*t has two essential ingredients: water and high fructose corn syrup... That's pretty much it. And high fructose corn syrup will kill you according to my homeboy Nick Trinh. So everyone, please boycott retarded sodas so that companies will take them off our shelves. That is all.

Charles Hamilton gets ROCKED!

2009-05-25T02:38:00.002-04:00

This video has been floating around the blogosphere for a while now (sidebar: did you know that "blogosphere" is now a word that can be spell checked?? You learn something new every day, I tell you). This woman is supposedly his girlfriend and, to be honest, he gets what he deserves. But look at the form. Real talk, she could have a career is boxing. She straight turned into Manny Pacquiou. To Charles's credit he did not retaliate and kept his composure even after the camera stopped rolling.

What I'm Listening To: Drake

2009-05-19T14:23:00.002-04:00

Drizzy Drake has a new mixtape out that has some new material and a lot of old stuff. This mixtape isn't as coherent as So Far Gone or Comeback Season, but its got some bangers and if you are like me and have already played the hell outta "Sooner or Later" and "Uptown" you will appreciate some new material. Hey, Zaq! Here's some new music you can kill on your iPod! Link below as usual, thanks to the smokingsection.com:

The Empire & Drake - The Drought Is Over: Friends With Money Mixtape

More LeBron and Kobe Puppets

2009-05-15T14:40:00.002-04:00

This stuff is GENIUS! "For each one of these delicious chocolate chip cookies, there is an equally delicious N-B-A championship ring, that you don't have."

SBPSPLACL: Identifying Racial Injustices

2009-05-15T12:25:00.004-04:00

IT'S BACK! Or rather, its the second installment of Stuff Black People at Small Private Liberal Arts Colleges Like. For this installment, I have identified one of the primary drivers for Black students at predominantly White colleges across the country: identifying racial injustices... even when they probably don't exist. Why is this the case? Well, secretly the vast majority of Black students in college wish they were a civil rights leader of some sort. After years of going to Martin Luther King Day celebrations as an elementary and middle school student and that Intro to African American Studies class Tyrell took his freshman year of college, he is ready to become the next Huey Newton, A. Philip Randolph, or Bayard Rustin (no homo). All he needs is a cause. Some reason to mobilize the masses... or 12 of his homeboys, that group of 5 or so Black girls with natural hair that is always accosting the girls with relaxed hair, and that White kid that also took the Intro to Af. Am. Studies class that has the cleanest fitteds on campus. It doesn't take much either. Maybe his friend Der'on was asked to leave a fraternity party? Granted... Der'on was the only Black person asked to leave, he kept f*cking with the iHome putting on whatever rap music he could find because even though its not his house or his party, and he was asked 6 or 7 times by the guys who live in the house to stop... BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS! Racism has reared its ugly head and its time to squash it! First, Tyrell starts by notifying the appropriate authority figures via email, which probably reads something like this:

Dear, Administrative Establishment

On the evening of October 23, in this the 2009th year of our Lord, a grave injustice took place at 123 Mockingbird Lane. Der'on Anderson was removed from a party that was supposedly open to all students by the current residents without rhyme or reason. After conversating with Der'on (note the invention of the word "conversating". Tyrell ignored the red line underneath the word), we have determined that the only thing that distinguished him from the others enjoying the festivities was the color of his skin. We feel that swift and decisive action should be taken against the current residents of 123 Mockingbird Lane, and an investigation should be conducted to determine whether this catastrophe was the result of individual prejudices or system racism upheld by the broader fraternity culture. If our demands are not met, we are prepared to alert both national and local media outlets of your tacit consent (Tyrell learned about "tacit consent" in his Intro to Political Science course. This seemed like an appropriate application of the term to him).

Sincerely,

Tyrell Jam'aal Smith (this is the first time he has ever used his full name in an email. Usually he signs them "Ty")

BSA Recording Secretary

(Insert some founding father's last name) College

Class of 2011

After the email is sent out, Tyrell and his homeboys will wear nothing but black clothing for at least 3 or 4 days. During this time period, t-shirt will be made that say "REMEMBER MOCKINGBIRD LANE" on them which no one will wear. Slowly, but surely... actually within a week of the incident happening, the situation will be explained. Tyrell will try and maintain his militant stance has do everything he can to hold the fraternity members accountable for what is now a grave misunderstanding. Der'on will actually become friends with the guys who threw him out because, "deep down... they are mad cool". Tyrell, on the other hand, will just wait quietly for the next injustice to rear its ugly head so he can pounce and claim the greatness he was destined for and join the ranks of Malcolm, Martin, and (of course) Pac...

Rick ROUSE explains himself

2009-05-13T13:42:00.006-04:00

So we have an explanation for the "fake LV's" that the "biggest boss that we have seen thus far" was wearing on the cover of XXL. Apparently they are customized Louis Vuitton's from Jacob "Sunglasses Pimp" Bernstein. Mr. Ross equated it to buying a Rolls Royce Phantom and having it tricked out... I guess. But this is like getting a Phantom and having a larger more obnoxious version of the hood ornament put on top of the roof of the car. And I personally would question the legitimacy of someone who is referred to as the "Sunglasses Pimp" but apparently he has done shades for Jay-Z, Kanye West, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Sharon Stone, Fergie, Gwen Stefani, Brad Pitt, and Usher... At the end of the day, Rick Ross is still the best ex-policeman rapper the game has seen. BOWSE!

Def Jam Contract: $5,000,000

Louis Vuitton Millionaire Sunglasses: $1,500-2,000

Fake A** LV logo on Sunglasses: $1,500

Rapping about being a gangster and a drug dealer for years only to admit that you were once a corrections officer, even though you denied it for months... then trying to pass being a corrections officer off as "hustling": Special

The Tragedy that is... R&B Singers' Goodies on the Internet

2009-05-13T12:32:00.005-04:00

Some of you may have heard that photos were leaked on the internet of singers Rihanna and Cassie bucket-naked (c) Denisio an 'nem. While some of my male readers may be thinking, "WHERE?" (COUGH! http://2dopeboyz.okayplayer.com/2009/05/08/rihanna-rehab-f-justin-timberlake-video-2/ AHEM! COUGH! COUGH! http://thebosh.com/archives/2009/05/singer_cassie_nude_pictures_leaked.php HMMM!) excuse me this is much sadder a situation than it may initially seem.

First off, Rihanna hasn't admitted that the photos are actually her and is trying to play the "Well if I don't say they are of me, then they aren't of me game". F*ck that. The pictures are of her. Dammit one of the photos is of Chris Brown with panties on his head. HMMM? I WONDER WHO'S DRAWS THOSE COULD BE?? And Cassie... Well I have already established that Diddy has run her career into the ground and I guess now she wants to show Daddy that she is a big girl and can do bad all by herself. Its not like she wears much clothes on a regular basis anyway, she still can't sing, and she still needs a gravy i.v. If the leaked photos weren't enough, she VOLUNTARILY posted pictures of her looking... well... I will let you decide how she looks.

Fashion statement, or cry for help? You decide. Thanks to 2dopeboyz.okayplayer.com for the photo.

It's a Recession Y'all... For Real

2009-05-12T11:18:00.002-04:00

All I can say to this is DAYUM.

CNN) -- Postal authorities say a Michigan postal worker has admitted to stealing some $20,000 worth of first-class stamps since September and trying to sell them to online auction-site customers to help pay his mortgage.

An arrest warrant has been issued for John Auito, 42, of Macomb, Michigan. Auito, a postal employee since 2003, resigned after investigators confronted him on April 30.

He has made arrangements to turn himself in, authorities said. Deputy Special Agent-in-Charge Breck Nowlin of the USPS Office of the Inspector General told CNN that Auito has admitted to stealing stamps that were being shipped to retail stores, and he said he used the money from selling them to make delinquent mortgage payments.

Nowlin said Auito was contacting customers of the online auction site eBay, and offering to sell them stolen stamps at below-retail prices.

A call from CNN to a listing in Macomb, Michigan, for John Auito was not answered.

I mean thats rough. He stole $20,000 worth of stamps. That's a lot of f**king stamps, yo! This is some sh*t from a stoner movie. I can see it now. John is chillin' in his basement, drinking some beer with his buddies, talking about life. All of a sudden, one of his buddies has the most retarded idea ever but because they are drunk and/or high it sounds genius to everyone except John who would be the only one executing the plan... and the only implicated if it didn't work. Eventually, though, John gets so drunk and/or high that it becomes a good idea to him. I personally don't know what kinda people are buying stamps from online auction sites, but dude got his hustle on for real in those regards. Honestly, I don't know if I could fire dude... Wait... Nah, I could. Dude stole $20k worth of merchandise. Gotta let him go. Sh*t is still sad though.

RICKY ROUSE!

2009-05-12T09:07:00.003-04:00

This had me ROLLIN! Shouts out to the folks at 2dopeboyz.com for putting this up.

Dear Editor:

We were dismayed to see the cover of the May 2009 issue of XXL Magazine, which features a photo of Rick Ross wearing a pair of sunglasses prominently featuring counterfeit Louis Vuitton trademarks. Because the photo has generated considerable confusion among your readers and Louis Vuitton customers among others, we feel it is important to clarify several points.

The first is that the sunglasses Mr. Ross is wearing were not made by Louis Vuitton, and in fact, are counterfeit. Louis Vuitton did not grant permission to Mr. Ross or to whoever did make the sunglasses to use our trademarks. The second is that no affiliation, sponsorship or association exists between Rick Ross or XXL and Louis Vuitton. The third is that counterfeiting is illegal.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to correct the confusion.

Sincerely,

Michael D. Pantalony, Esq.
Louis Vuitton Malletier

Dead at the fact they had to clarify that there is no affiliation between Louis Vuitton and Rick Ross. I don't understand why Louis Vuitton wouldn't want to align themselves with the Biggest Boss that we have seen thus far? He knows Noriega... the REAL Noriega no less.

Lebron and Kobe Puppet Commercial

2009-05-11T23:34:00.003-04:00

This joint had me DYING when I saw it on TV. The marketers at Nike have done it again. This wasn't selling anything, and it made me want to buy something from Nike. Some Nike Dri-Fit, a headband, one of those Livestrong bracelets, something.

Memories from Spring Break 09

2009-05-10T17:49:00.002-04:00

We hit up the mall over spring break and Ne-Yo came on while we were in Express. I tossed Zaq a hat, and here is what happened.

What I'm Listening To: Q-Tip, D'Angelo, Raphael Saadiq

2009-05-10T15:03:00.002-04:00

Tip, D'Angelo, and Raphael Saadiq have a new mixtape out called Lynwood Rose. If you are Black, between the ages of 20 and 35, and have some education beyond high school, you probably had an orgasm after you read the first sentence. The whole album is killer. Raphael Saadiq and Q-Tip have been ahead of their time since they broke into the industry, and D'Angelo can straight up sayng (for those of you who aren't familiar with the term "sayng", it means to sing at a level that involves more interactivity between the crooner and the listener. This typically involves the closing of the eyes, swaying from left to right, and the occasional throwing of undergarments at said crooner). To pick a hand full of tracks that stand out would be a disservice. The link to the album is below.

http://www.zshare.net/download/59777437a5b8f9f6/

My First Apartment

2009-05-10T14:53:00.008-04:00

For those of you who don't know, I will be working for the university next year in the Office of Admissions. Since the Office of Admissions doesn't have any openings in their New York or London offices, I will be in the international headquarters in good old Lex Vegas for two more years. I went and did the apartment hunt, and after a 3 day search (two of which I saw nothing but apartments that strangely resembled housing projects) I found a nice spot, in town, and with decent rent. It is a newly renovated studio (so newly renovated, they aren't even done yet). It comes with a stove, refrigerator, convection microwave... and church pew.

Peep the Gatorade on the counter. These dudes are putting in work on my aparment.

Come June 1st, this will be my place of residence

The bathroom.

My pew

What I'm Listening To: Cool Kids

2009-05-09T12:53:00.002-04:00

Check out the new Cool Kids mixtape with Don Cannon. Joint is FIYA. Link is below.

Stand out tracks:

Hammer Bros.

Cinnamon

Premium Blends

Jump Rope

Taking a Break

Weekend Love

Summer Vacation

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZAL31UHJ

The Return... Again

2009-05-08T15:01:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I'm back. Its Spring term (the third trimester for those of you who aren't familiar with W&L). My last semester EVER as an undergrad. I'm at work study, snackin' on some wasabi roasted green peas (you all need to get up on them because they are FIYA!), and listening to my "I'm a grown a** man now and I can't just chill and listen to booty-butt-coon music anymore" playlist. I promised y'all I would be posting more this term and trust there have been projects in the works but nothing completed. As usual I am trying to do too much. Aight... back to work for me. And, yes... I do work with big a** sunglasses on my face.

Hi Haters, I'm Back Off Hiatus

2009-04-10T20:11:00.005-04:00

Purgatory, I mean finals week has just finished up here. Sh*t was TERRIBLE! T-R-R-B-L TERIBBLE. But now it is done, and I am back and I have a few things I need to get off of my chest.

First off, those of you close to me know that I am into clothes and fashion and what not. I try to stay fairly up to date on latest trends, and one trend is really bothering me: androgynous male models. I swear to God, if you look at any high fashion, all of the men look genderless. WTF. And the clothes just look retarded. I am convinced that high fashion has the world duped. The shit they come up with is fugly. Yes... I said fugly. Motherf@#$ers come on stage wearing some damn overall shorts, with tights, a t-shirt made out of wax paper, some clown shoes, and one of those Dr. Seuss hats that every d-bag had back in 4th grade. They always have blown face. The white models are the pastiest dudes you can find and always look like some character from a movie about struggling heroine addicts, and the black dudes... don't exist.

The next thing that has gotten on my nerves is EVERYONE using the cot damn "A Milli" drums. Now I know Bangladesh did the beats to both "A Milli" and "Diva" so I guess he gets a pass for using the same drum pattern... even though that sh*t is lazy as hell, my dude. But for real, everyone is trying to come on a track that has an "A Milli"-esque drum pattern. First everyone was trying to rap on the beat. First Jay, then shitty rappers like Plies got on it, then singers decided they would... sing over it. Real talk, I heard there's a Mahalia Jackson "A Milli" freestyle floating around out there.

Speaking"Diva"... That's another thing that has bothered me. A diva is NOT, I repeat, NOT a female version of a hustler. Last I checked, hustler was a gender neutral term.

Ok, last and not least. For those of you who have not seen Ciara's new video (I think its called something like... Sex Magic or Magic Sex... Doin' the Hudini... something) um I'm not going to say you should watch it because... real talk, its not that good. She is on some Madonna type stuff, like wearing latex, dancing like a stripper, not singing good. Come on Ci-Ci!

Anyway. Ya boy is back. Expect more janglage in the days and weeks to come (that was for you Cynthia). I'm out like a slow fat kid in musical chairs.

Don't Worry Children... I'm Coming

2009-04-09T12:19:00.003-04:00

Finals are over tomorrow (Friday) at 5:00 pm. While I won't post immediately after (actually I will probably sleep for about 3 or 4 days straight), I will be posting more nuggets of wisdom, videos, and other janglage soon. Fear not!

Bailout Money

2009-02-19T01:31:00.005-05:00

Another Bo Jangles classic. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you "Bailout Money":

Here is the link to listen and download: http://www.zshare.net/audio/55851448fd47ae0d/

Lyrics:
Ey yo! I wanna thank Nancy Pelosi Ben [sic] Bernake for making this all possible. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the remix.

(Chorus)
LaLaLa HaleHeloHaLow
HelaBalaHeHeleBalo
We gettin Bailout Money
We gettin Bailout Money

HaLaShegeHaLitlFaLa
MiliAlaySheNitiMala
We gettin Bailout Money
We gettin Bailout Money

(Verse 1)
Didn’t give a damn when my billions was pilin
Now subprime loans got me laying off thousands
Foreclosing houses
Stock brokers wilin’
The treasury cut the check, so I can keep stylin
Market insane
Now I’m sittin’ in Congress
Tryin to explain why my company bought a plane
Fuck this recession nobody’s investin’
We got bought by Citibank man this shit is depressin’

(Chorus)
LaLaLa HaleHeloHaLow (Feels like a depression)
HelaBalaHeHeleBalo (I need anti-depressants)
We gettin Bailout Money
We gettin Bailout Money

HaLaShegeHaLitlFaLa
MiliAlaySheNitiMala
We gettin Bailout Money
We gettin Bailout Money

NAPPY BOY!
(Verse 2)
My stock prices fallin' down like the rest of them
Fannie Mae Freddie Mac and the best of them
Now we in the red 'cause we freakin'' lost our heads
Call the Feds, start to beg, can we get that money from the government
HA LA LA
We gettin' bailout money
We straight crooks so we take that money
Play with that money, do the same shit like we think its funny
We go back to the Congress like...

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
i got dat bailout money (money)
five star hotel retreats for the boys in accounting
keep them tax breaks comin
out sourcing jobs so that when you call we sound straight foreign
i got dat bailout money (money), takin trips to D.C.
to keep those billions comin
Christmas bonus still comin
Own all of Wall Street you can ask Goldman Sachs

(Chorus)

(Verse 4)
The CEO say get money everyday
Stock prices fall like water when it rains
Foreclosed homes be the reason for the fuss
Subprime loans everywhere, what the fuck
I'm so depressed got a noose 'round my neck
Wait up yo cause the Fed cut the check
I'm so glad we got money again
Don't call it socialism 'cause you know what it is
Bailout money

Bo Jangles Live! It's Been a Long Time... We Shouldn't Have Left You

2009-02-19T01:24:00.001-05:00

Ayo Technology

2009-02-06T09:15:00.000-05:00

As I have said before, I am a rookie in the blogesphere world... but the way its looking I could be like LeBron in this piece! I have finally figured out how to blog from my phone and if I find out that there is a app that can make this easier, its a wrap. I'm currently travelling down I-81 on my way to a leadership conference in South Cackalack. That's right, yours truely is going to cast down his bucket in the dirty. Zaq is rollin' on this trip as well so you know we will have some Bo Jangles Live for you: consider it chicken soup for your humorless soul... or a firm squeeze for your funny bone's cold lonely booty.

Jangle-shop

2009-02-03T17:31:00.002-05:00

Lip Sync

2009-02-03T17:04:00.002-05:00

For those of you who follow Bo Jangles and are connected with the W&L community (which is damn near everyone who read this) here is Phi Beta Sigma's infamous performance. Note the sexy beast that is leading the "Take You Down" segment.

Littering and...? Litter and...?

2009-02-03T01:38:00.003-05:00

Smoking the reefer (c) Super Troopers. Unless you have been living under a rock... or have been doing the responsible thing and not paying any attention to the news, you know that Michael Phelps got caught smoking weed. Actually, he didn't get caught smoking weed, he was just retarded enough to let himself get photographed smoking from a bong. Ok. Big deal. Its weed, a relatively harmless recreation drug and while it is illegal in some states, its not the end of the world. So he issued this apology that can only be described as "special" and I don't mean that in no good way. Basically he said he is sorry for shattering White parents dreams of having a dominant American athlete that looks like them that is the great white hope. One that will stay away from drugs and extra marital affairs like those thuggish negroid athletes of the NBA and NFL, and will stay away from steroids like the trailer trash in the MLB. Well, SURPRISE!!! He is a regular ass dude who can swim good and likes to smoke weed from time to time. He isn't getting charged with anything. He didn't hurt anybody. He just was smoking weed with some so-called friends and someone decided they wanted to make a few bucks and sell him out. What boggles my mind is how the media outlets are making it sound like he did something completely horrible and asking the question "will he ever be marketable again?" Yes... He will be marketable again. Shit, he never really lost his marketability. Kobe raped a White woman 5 some odd years, now this dude has his own shoe... and that shit is selling too. He has actually had FOUR Nike shoes since then. So I guess the moral of the story is, even if you do something stupid, as long as you dominate in whatever sport you play Nike will pay you to wear their shit. They may even name some stuff after you...

Bo Jangles Live! Episode 3: Revenge of the Jangle

2009-02-01T03:13:00.003-05:00

SBPSPLACL

2009-01-27T17:08:00.003-05:00

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past year or so, there is a new cultural phenomena that is sweeping the blogosphere (I believe that is the proper nomenclature): it's called Stuff White People Like. It is HILARIOUS. The premise is this white guy began listing things that middle to upper middle class, left leaning, North American white people enjoy and by all accounts its fairly accurate. From scarves and gentrification to New Balance shoes and the Idea of Soccer, Stuff White People Like is a peek into the minds, behaviors, and spending habits of that generally cool white person that you know.

Folks have tried to make spin-offs, but they generally fail because of a few reasons. Reason 1: The group they choose to focus on is substantially smaller than white people. Reason 2: White people really don't give a fuck about what specifically other groups like... just as long as that group likes the type of white person they are. Rather than ride the proverbial dick of Stuff White People Like and turn Bo Jangles into Stuff (insert ethnic group) People Like, I have decided to add a series, like the "Tragedy That is..." or "Chris's Critical Beatdown" series, called Stuff Black People at Small Private Liberal Arts College Like. I realize that I have selected an infinitesimally small target audience, but that is the audience I have selected and hey, maybe you can relate too.

For the first installment of Stuff Black People at Small Private Liberal Arts Colleges Like, I will focus on "Patronizing 24 Hour Eateries". Some of you may say, "Chris that is something that ALL college student like, not just Black people at small private liberal arts colleges." First off... BITCH! I didn't say ONLY Black people at small private liberal arts colleges like this shit! And, it's a different type of affair for us, ESPECIALLY if the school is in the middle of fucking NOWHERE. Going to the 24 hour restaurant of choice is a much grander affair for us members of the not so silent minority. While for most, these trips are spontaneous and occur after a night of partying, for Black people at small private liberal arts colleges this trip starts at the beginning of the school week:

Monday (in the dining hall)
Black person 1: Man we haven't had a late night trip to (insert 24 hour eatery) in a minute.
Black person 2: You right. We need to go, some time.

Tuesday (in passing)
Black person 1: Hey! We still on for going to (insert 24 hour eatery) this week?
Black person 2: THIS WEEK?! Nigga! No one said anything about going this week! I got a test on Friday and a 20 page term paper due Saturday at midnight!

Wednesday (chilling/studying)
Black person 1: Come on, man! Lets hit up (insert 24 hour eatery) on Friday! A buncha people said they wanna go!
Black person 2: Like who?
Black person 1: Uhhhh (he then proceeds to list 3 people who agreed that they hadn't been to the restaurant in a long time but did not actually confirm that they were coming on Friday, 2 people who actually said they cannot make it Friday, and 4 more people he never even talked to).
Black person 2: Aight, well we will see how this paper goes. I probably can't go though.

Thursday (in passing)
Black person 1: Yo! We still-
Black person 2: I can't go, all I have done on this paper is the opening... I don't even have a fuckin' thesis yet. AND I will be up all night studying for this test tomorrow.
Black person 1: Aight... well, maybe some other time.

Friday (after the test around noon)
Black person 1: How did the test go?
Black person 2 (still wearing the same clothes he had on from the day before): Nigga, I KILT that shit!
Black person 1: That's what's up! Yo we should celebrate with some (insert 24 hour eatery)!
Black person 2: Mutherfucka! I told you I have a term paper due tomorrow. I need to rest and then bang that joint out.

Friday (about 8:00 pm)
Black person 1: Hey how you feeling? Hows that paper coming?
Black person 2: Its coming alright. I took a 3 hour nap and have been working on it since. I got about 5 pages. Its supposed to be 15 to 20 pages and I wanna shoot for 20.
Black person 1: Aight, man. Good luck with that.

Still Friday (about midnight)
Black person 2 answers his cell. It's Black person 1
Black person 2: Yo!
Black person 1: (5 or so Negro voices in the background... which tends to sound like 20 to 30 voices) Hey, man! We gettin' ready to hit up (insert 24 hour eatery)! You rollin?!
Black person 2: I don't know, I only have 10 pages done so far and I'm kinda in a rut right now.
Black person 1: Come on! We all are ready to go we are just waiting on you!
Black person 2: I don't know, man...
Black person 1: Stop being a little bitch. COME ON.
Black person 2: Man... fuck you. I need to work on this paper for real.
Black person 1: Aight. Peace.
Black person 2 hangs up

10 minutes later there is a knock at Black person 2's door and what sounds like 10 or 15 Black people at it. He opens the door to find Black person 1 with 3 other Black people and that cool white dude that rolls from time to time with him.
Black person 1: Nigga... You are coming with us!
Black person 2: Nah, man. I told you I have this paper!
Black person 1: Put on some sweats and lets roll.
Black person 2 skulks back into his room and comes out 3 minutes later in sweats and a hoody.
Black person 2: Aight... Lets go.

So the group heads out to the restaurant and has a blast. Invariably there are 2-4 people who aren't hungry at all and don't eat anything, 2-3 people who don't have money and tell people they aren't eating but someone gets them anyway, and 1 mottherfucker who has no money, orders his food like he does, and after he finishes says "Aight... Who got me?"

Kobe is a Damn Fool

2009-01-27T01:14:00.000-05:00

Gone for a Minute Now I'm Back Again

2009-01-26T07:40:00.002-05:00

It has been some time since I have had a word with the Bo Jangle's community. So It is almost 8 am and I am up in my school's dinning hall eating breakfast. "Why?!" you ask? Well I just got finished with another great moment of procrastination. While some people look down on procrastination, I see it as a blessing. We procrastinators have a divine gift for having moments of genius when it really counts. Like it or not, procrastination is a gift. Some are good at it, some are bad. I don't know that it can be taught. Procrastination is like Spiderman's "spider sense", that instinctual warning that time is of the essence and the genius lobe of your brain needs to turn on. I bet you didn't know about the genius lobe, did you. Its near your medulla oblongata... look it up. Anyway, the genius lobe kicks in, and you get that spark of wisdom that you need to get the work done that you probably should have done... weeks ago. Aight... the high from getting this project is done. I'm going to take my ass back to the crib and take a nap before class. Keep janglin'.

We'ze Just Loves Us Some Obama!

2009-01-14T12:32:00.002-05:00

I swear to God, America has developed an "If I Could Just Touch the Hem of His Garment" complex with Barack Obama (for those of you not familiar with the New Testament that is a reference to the woman with the hemorrhage who said if she could just touch the hem of Jesus's robe she would be healed. She touched it, and she was healed). Anyway, it seems the media is looking for anyone and I mean ANYONE who knew Barack or Michelle Obama at some point before he ran for public office. It is ridiculous. They will find that person who took Barack's drivers license picture back in Hawaii and ask them dumb questions like, "Would you ever have guessed that he would be president one day?" The answer is NO. Just like guys at Yale didn't know that the coke head doing a keg stand on their coffee table was going to be president one day (George W. Bush). I swear news outlets have entire staffs devoted to finding people that knew the Obamas back in the day. One day you are going to turn on the news and see this:
In this CNN exclusive, we have the woman Barack dated... before Michelle
Reporter: So when did you first meet Barack?
Woman: Well it was at a party at Harvard. He was really quiet.
Reporter: How long were you in a relationship with President-Elect Obama?
Woman: Back then, we just called him Barry. And it wasn't much of a relationship... actually we just hooked up that night at the party.
Reporter: I see, so... when you were "hooking up", did you know you were sucking the future 44th president's dick?

And this is the shit people are calling news nowadays. We have an economy in shambles, Israel is blasting Gaza, people are losing jobs... and the media wants to know "who knew Barack 15 years ago" or what dog Sasha and Maliah are going to get. I will put an end to this madness: No one really knew Barack was going to become president one day and if they say they did they are lying and the kids are getting a pitbull... or a rottweiler. Some really hood dog.

Bo Jangles Live! We Back, Baby.

2009-01-13T02:20:00.001-05:00

Erykah Badu Tells Women How to Get in to the Business

2009-01-11T17:00:00.000-05:00

WAZZZZZAAAAAP The Change Edition

2009-01-11T13:25:00.002-05:00

Remember the Budwieser "Wazzzap!" guys from a while back? Well they made an updated version for the election season that has nothing to do wit beer and such. Its pretty funny, and poignant. Check it out!

I Just Found Out I'm a Millionaire, Son!

2009-01-08T09:51:00.007-05:00

I found out just moments ago that my kidneys are worth up to 1.5 million dollars a piece. While I don't plan on

cashing them out its good to know. Seriously though, this is actually a strange and sad story about a relationship... and this time the guy didn't f--k up. So there is this surgeon on Massapequa, NY (shouts out to all my Massapequa gangstas) and he falls in love with one of his patients. So he marries her in 1990, has three kids with her, and (this is how you know dude LOVED this woman) gave her one of his kidneys to save her life back in 2001. I mean a lot of people claim shit like "Love is never saying 'I'm sorry'" or you know "Love is being able to wake up to the same person day after day". F--k that. Love is when you donate one of your vital organs to a person. And get this, he finds out that she is cheating on him. WHAT THE FUCK. Like, I'm not saying that John Edwards was right for cheating on his wife while she was fighting cancer... but his wife didn't donate one of her vital organs to him. So the doctor decides he wants a divorce, and she can have the house, the cars, the kids, all that. What does he want? Wait for it... Wait for it... That's right, he wants his f--king kidney back. She can either give him his kidney back, or she can pay for it. 1.5 million is the price tag on the kidney. Where did that price come from? Is there a Kelley's Blue Book value on vital organs? I am a firm believer in being the bigger person when you have a conflict with a person, but dammit if you love someone so much you want to spend the rest of your life with them AND you give them a kidney, and they turn around and start boning someone else? Fuck it, you can be a petty as you want when it comes to the divorce proceedings. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6591415

The Tragedy that is... Laura Bush

2009-01-06T01:10:00.002-05:00

Now some of you may be going, "Chris... where the HELL are you going with this???" Here is the set-up: I was checking out CNN.com this evening, you know... trying to be a responsible citizen of the world and find out what is going on and such. One of the headlines is "Laura Bush signs deal to write memoir and share 'intimate details'" So naturally I click the link on some "What the f--k is this" type shit. So I'm reading, and I quickly lose interest after about 3 sentences, but I did read something interesting. Although everyone hated Bush, Laura was generally loved by the public. And I say to myself, "Hermmmm. I wonder if I have ever held any ill feelings towards Laura Bush?". And I thought, and thought, and never was there a day when I was like "MAAAN! Laura Bush is whack as hell!". She wasn't even collateral damage on some "F--k Bush! And Laura can take 2 of these and walk it out too!". Honestly, she seems like a really nice woman and I feel bad for her. I'm pretty sure she was like... a librarian or something before she married Bush, and she married this rich kid from Texas and ended up becoming the first-lady. Now this could have been a Cinderella type story, but unfortunately the guy she married was more like Elmer Fudd than Prince Charming... assuming Elmer came from money. But seriously, she seems like such a nice lady. Like, that lady that lives on your block who has a biggoted retard for a husband. And one day your ball rolls in their yard while he is cutting the grass, and he calls you all types of crispity crackley crunchity coons and like pops your ball with some gardening scissors. All the while, kind Mrs. Bush is watching from the window, shaking her head in disgust. Mr. Bush goes in the house angry, and Mrs. Bush slips out, and tells you in the kindest voice that she is sorry that he behaved like that, and should have treated you that way. And then she tells you to come back in an hour, when Mr. Bush is at his "fraternity meeting" that requires a white robe and pillow case, and she will bake you her world famous chocolate chip cookies. Like.. that is the type of woman that Laura Bush is to me. Like, while Dubya was off playing John Wayne with the Middle East, Laura was back in the U.S. reading to little kids... and baking her world famous chocolate chip cookies to send over in those care packages they dropped in like Afghanistan and Iraq.

Chris's Critical Beatdown: 808s and Heartbreak

2009-01-04T01:37:00.002-05:00

Some people have suggested that I write a review on Kanye's newest offering to the world "808s and Heartbreak". Let me first and foremost say that I am a Kanye fan, so I'm not just going to shit on the album because Kanye is a cocky bastard. With that being said, on to the heartbreak. Its important to keep in mind that 808s is a concept album, so unlike his major releases its just Kanye f--kin around with sounds that he likes and decided that it was good enough to release. Another important thing to realize is that Kanye cannot, I repeat, cannot sing. So again, if you are looking for some shit that will sound like Raheem DeVaughn, you will be disappointed. Don't fret, however, you can definitely still cry in your keffiayh scarf to this music. I have determined that any male that has gone through any type of heartbreak and is man enough to admit it will feel something on this album. You can try and hate, but I guarantee once you start listening to it for real, your ass will go from nodding your head on "Welcome to Heartbreak", to jumping up and down with your arms out, spinning as you jump, singing at the top of your lungs in a shitty falsetto "OK OKAAAAAAY! OK OKAAAAAAAAY! YOU NEED TO STOP IT NOW!" once "Robocop" comes on. The beats are killer, the biggest knock against the project is every song is little more than a hook and a bridge. No real verses, no real depth. I have heard people tell me they "don't get 808s and Heartbreak", and to that I say "What the f--k is there not to get?? Its real straight forward. Dude lost his mom to botched plastic surgery then broke up with his fiance... then decided to make an album about that shit using auto-tune and some tribal ass drums. He isn't speaking in code when he said 'You worry about the wrong things'..." Like I said, if you are looking for the musical stylings of say a Carl Thomas, this is not the album for you. But if you want to listen to Kanye whine over some tight ass beats using auto-tune this is a must cop.

Beats: ©©©©©

Lyrics: ©©

Overall: ©©©©

I would say, if you like "Heartless" then cop it. Tracks to bang: Say You Will, Welcome to Heartbreak, Heartless, Paranoid (thats my SHIT!), Street Lights

Favorite Person of the Moment: Gertrude Baines

2009-01-03T19:52:00.003-05:00

Some of you may be wondering, "Who is Gertrude Baines? An actress? Singer? An all around cutie pie?" Well... no. She is likely to be the oldest person in the world in a few days at 114 years old. Like... she was born to slaves, son. No joke. Her parents were former slaves. The beautiful this is, she lived long enough to see America elect its first Black president. Not only did she witness it, she partook in the election, voting for Obama because "he's for the colored people." You know what... she gets honorary cutie pie status. Keep on doin' your thing Gertrude!

Randy Taylor doesn't f--k with 12 oz. rolls of sausage

2009-01-02T03:40:00.001-05:00

Yo this joint had me ROLLIN'! I found on it artist KAWS's blog.

A Lot of You Knew This Was Coming Sometime: My Treatise on Soulja Boy

2008-12-31T02:01:00.002-05:00

"Rap is ass now!"- Maronzio Vance

Soo for some time now I have verbally expressed my distain for Soulja Boy and to some I came off as a hater. I will acknowledge that in many ways, Soulja Boy Tell 'Em embodies part of hip-hop... unfortunately he embodies hip-hop's malignant tumor that is slowly killing it day by day. What is wrong with Soulja Boy you ask? Is it the coonish dances? No, because I did the Soulja Boy dance and it was kinda fun at first. Dancing is harmless. Is it his lyrics? Honestly, no. Soulja Boy really doesn't talk about much of anything in his songs. No gun play, no dope slangin', and certainly no lyrical complexity (HOPPED UP OUT THE BEEEEEEEED! TURN MY SAWG OOOOON! TAKE A LOOOOK IN THE MIRROR SAID WASSUP! EEEEEEEEYYYYY) No, the problem isn't these isolated incidents, its the fact that they are wrapped up together in a nice neat package called Soulja Boy Tell 'Em and he feels the need to pump more of this garbage on to the airwaves not only through his music but also by putting on other rappers with less talent. I will concede that Soulja Boy has some excellent marketing insight and does a great job at promoting himself. And I will also say that not all rap needs to be uplifting, have some type of deep message, or be incredibly lyrically poignant; but the stuff Soulja Boy puts out is garbage. Like, he is the 21st Century dumbed down version of MC Hammer. Like, there are better ways to do things that Soulja Boy does that aren't incredibly coonish. For example, most of Diddy's good songs (Been Around the World, Can't Hold Me Down, Mo' Money Mo' Problems [I know its a Biggie song but I needed a third song dammit]) were about money. That's all he talked about was how much money he had, and they were jamming. People were dancing to them, waving their arms in circles, wearing shiny suits and shit. But it was never as ignorant as Soulja Boy. *Sigh* The more shit like this that is out, the more I start digging through proverbial crates looking for good music. This shit is going to keep up and I am going to be one of those jaded ass old heads talkin' about "I don't listen to rap made after (insert classic rap album)". God help hip-hop.

Favorite Person of the Moment: Amanda Diva

2008-12-30T18:08:00.004-05:00

The feature of this installment of Chris's favorite person of the moment is non other than Amanda Diva. Now many of you might remember her from doing her MTV VJ thing on like Sucker-Free Sunday or something like that, but me and Amanda go back much farther. Let me take you all back to like '94, Nickelodeon had this show called "My Brother and Me". By far, the BEST show to ever grace Nickelodeon. It was pro-Black but like... not on some f--k whitey type stuff, the family was funny but not coonish, and it was just a well done show featuring an intact happy middle-class Black family and their friends of all races (Dee Dee: Hit me! Hit me! [later] Alfie: What happened?, Dee Dee: I got hit... BAHAHAHAHAHAHA) ANYWAY, if anyone remembers Alfie and Dee Dee's tomboy friend Deonne that was Amanda (then she was known as Amanda Seales). From there she went on to college, SURPRISE! Betcha didn't see that coming. Anyway, she went to college and has been a VJ, radio host, a poet, rapper, philosopher, all around cool woman, and to top it off she is a cutie pie... I'm just sayin'. She has her own web show on youtube called Diva Speak TV, its dope. She is Funny, clever, and smart so check her out. Her poetry is tight too and she can really spit. Check her out on Q-Tip's new album The Renaissance (a must cop for true Hip Hop heads out there). You can check out her latest episode of Diva Speak below. Enjoy. Happy Holidays y'all and thanks again for reading Bo Jangle.

The Tragedy that is... Kim Kardashian

2008-12-29T13:58:00.002-05:00

"In this crazy world..."-Young Jeezy

Now in an earlier post, I talked about the tragic story of Cassie and how Diddy took a perfectly hungry model and turned her into a shitty singer that models from time to time. This post is about another tragic story, Kim Kardashian, but this time is isn't about how a multimillionaire mogul took a pretty girl and fed her foolish dream to be a pop singer for his own gain. No. This is the tragic story about how we as the American public have been duped into thinking that Kim Kardashian actually has some sort of career to follow. Now here is the thing, no one and I mean NO ONE knew about this chick like 3 or 4 years ago and now she is a quasi-household name. Some of you may say, "Well, Chris. She was Paris Hilton's bff while Paris and her coochie was all over the news. That's why people know her." My response is simply f--k that. You don't get famous by being someone's friend while they are going through crazy -ish unless you are in the courtroom testifying against them *cough* Kato Kaelin. No, Kim became famous when the sextape that she made with Brandy's brother Ray-J was leaked... by Ray-J. Lets step back now and reflect. This woman slept with Ray-J (read threw her life away) on camera. Ordinarily something like that would be followed by like a moment of silence or something, but no... she became famous. And the really f--ked up thing is that in the eyes of the general public, she isn't famous for boning Ray-J and Nick Cannon (yeah.... she was with "Gigolo ft. R. Kelly" Nick Cannon), she is famous for being the daughter of Robert Kardashian and the step-daughter of Bruce Jenner. Like... she got a TV show for this shit. She was on Dancing with the Stars... this girl isn't a star! You shouldn't be on TV if you messed with Ray-J, you should be in some sort of rehab *cough* Whitney Houston. Anyway, long story short... actually Kim's story is kinda short: born to the dude who helped get OJ off for murder, boned Nick Cannon and Ray-J, sex tape gets released, now she's famous. See and the messed up part about all this is that I wish I could front and say she isn't cute... but unfortunately she is kinda bangin... Aaaannnnyyyy way. Best of luck Reggie and if y'all got tapes, burn them because if they get out Kim's "career" might just blow up to Beyonce status or some stupid shit like that. Why is her booty so BIG?! *Sigh*

Bo Jangles Live Show!

2008-12-27T01:29:00.002-05:00

Magnetic Earrings on men are whack.

WARNING: Strong Language!

A Little Christmas Cheer

2008-12-24T19:18:00.008-05:00

So me and my boy Zaq were talking about Christmas and he made the argument that Christmas was what was really hood right now and I was like naaaaah, what about Christmas is hood. Then I got to thinking. What if Santa was a big Black man... Like Rick Ross. What if Santa looked like Rick Ross, what would it be like? And from there, this came to me. Enjoy. Merry Christmas

The Claus-- Santa Claus ft. T-Reins

Santa (The Claus...)

Elves don't make love, baby they make presents
Come to the Pole, my elves get gift crackin
Always wear a beard, baby cause shit happens
When I'm at the Pole I push a red and green Phantom
Hopped out the Phantom, hopped in the sleigh
Had to let the top back, "Hey Rudolph its the day" (hey!)
Who gives a fuck what a Grinch gotta say?
Made a billion kids happy last year from my sleigh (geah)
Flyin' through the skies, deers strapped in the reins
Kids believe in me, so they chantin' my name (Claus!)
I'm the biggest Claus that you seen thus far
9 flying reindeer cross the world in a day
I'ma make it rain (rain), presents in my sack (sack)
Good or bad I got your name, lil' homie, that's a fact
I enter through the chimney, presents under yo' tree
Slangin presents in your hood, you hear my ho's on your street

(T-Pain bridge)

Look under your Christmas tree and you know you'll see gift

Found some coal in your stocking, oh ain't that a bitch

I'm on my job (yea!), and I ain't takin' off

Cause its just a Christmas day in the life of the goddamn Claus!

(Rick James voice) BANG! BANG! AH HA HA HA HA!

Merry Christmas, y'all!

The Tragedy that is Cassie

2008-12-21T13:03:00.003-05:00

Here is the deal. Cassie can't sing. Now before I get written off as a hater, "Me and You" was my -ish when it came out. The problem is that as far as most people are concerned, Cassie is that cutie pie that couldn't sing to save her life. Nothing more nothing less. Cassie could have been a great model... that couldn't sing like the REST of the models that think they can sing. But unfortunately she met Diddy, and when you meet Diddy he changes your life. Getting connected with Diddy is like using cocaine: at first its great, you are partying making all types of friends and are the life of the party... then you hit the lowest of lows and no one has seen you in forever. First you think you need it (coke or Diddy)... then you realize that you have lost your soul to (insert applicable soul stealer) and you try to get away but you can't because it owns you. The only way to get away is with outside help... like rehab. ANYWAY. Back to Cassie. That's what happened when Puff decided he wanted to make her a singer/model. Yeah she had the face, but you can't be a singer if you can't sing or... at least dance real good. Look at Ciara. She has an average voice but she can groove and it makes her shows that much better. J. Lo didn't have a great voice, but she had the moves and booty to keep her career afloat long enough to parlay it into a mediocre acting career. Cassie, unfortunately, only has a pretty face. No moves, no booty... actually she kinda has a 12 year olds body. SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE CASSIE A HAM SANDWICH. I think Diddy is starving her... or maybe its coke. Can't tell the difference... *shrug*

Clothing Lines/Brands that Need to Die

2008-12-21T11:56:00.002-05:00

This is going to sound real harsh... but some clothing lines need to go away. Some just need to take a break, reinvent the brand, get some folks that actually know a little bit about designing clothes, and try again. Others, however, need to go the hell away and don't come back. Here is my list of clothing lines that need to sit this one out for a while:

Southpole

Ok, here is the deal with Southpole. They have a marketing budget that would make Barack Obama proud. Like seriously, their shit is EVERYWHERE. Vibe, the Source, Complex, Sports Illustrated, I think I saw an ad in Cosmo one time. They advertise EVERYWHERE with either a scrub R&B singer (Mario, Omarion, you get the picture), some wigger-looking suburban White kid with at buzz cut and stunner shades, or some racially ambiguous woman. The problem I have with Southpole is not the fact that I can't flip through the pages of a magazine without seeing their cheaply made products, its that... the company just copies whatever was hot last year. There is no, I repeat, no one creative that works at Southpole. I guess they fired all those people so they would have more money for advertising. All-over print hoodies were hot in 2003, Southpole's Fall 2004 line was all-over print EVERYTHING. Hoodies, shirts, polos, jeans, hats, socks, you name it Southpole put a logo all over that bitch. They should look at Hyundai, another company that made a name for itself by swagger-jacking higher end brands, invest some money in R&D (i.e. hire some hungry young designers) and start making some QUALITY knock-off stuff. I remember I bought a Southpole polo when I was like 12, I thought I was fly. It was good all the way until I washed it... and that joint got a foot shorter and a foot wider... Same thing happened to a hoodie I copped. Haven't really messed with them since.

Shady Ltd., G-Unit, Apple Bottoms, Yums

Ok... Shady Clothes just needs to go the f- away. As a matter of fact, I actually just went back and added two other clothing lines started by rappers that need to go the hell away (puts on Chris Brown auto-tune with the echo) Forever, -ever, -ever. As a rule to all rappers, if you don't dress well, don't make a clothing line. Seriously, if you have no fashion sense, don't put your name on some clothes because that opens the door for a host of other things that just aren't acceptable like... albums by rappers that can't rap (Soulja Boy) or singers that can't sing (Ashanti). You know what: here are the only rappers/musicians that are allowed to have clothing lines

Kanye

Jay-Z

Andre 3000

Diddy

Pharrell

Lupe

Wale

Alicia Keys

Beyonce (she is about to lose this privilege if she doesn't start getting models that don't have the last name Knowles)

Rihanna

All other, fall back. Get a stylist and wait your turn.

Enyce

Ok, the funny thing about Enyce is that Diddy bought them which is funny because he already has a brand like that... its called Sean John. So much for diversification. Honestly, this is actually a request that Enyce not go away forever. Diddy, if you are reading this please don't make Enyce disappear like Cheri Dennis, Black Rob, Loon, Total and the countless others whose souls you have purchased and are nowhere to be found (Craig Mack). You know what would be funny, if Diddy revamped the brand and it disappeared for a while... and in like 2 or so years Cheri Dennis came out with a track with Carl Thomas and they were both rocking the new Enyce. G-Dep and Black Rob could be on the remix. I'm sure it would all be hot like... WHOA!

Some brands that don't need to go away but need to STRONGLY rethink the way they design clothes:

Blac Label: Skulls, devils, and guns on (Kat Williams voice) ev-er-ry-thang? ev-er-ry-thang... Like serious. I don't buy the shirts because I feel like I'm going to hell just for wearing it. And the jeans are WAY over priced. I can get some selvedge Levis for the price of your REGULAR ASS DENIM.

Ed Hardy by Christian Audiger: Y'all are killin' the game with the tattoo prints... and I don't mean that in no nice way. That stuff might be cool for tattoos, but its getting old. Like, if you were to stick with the simple Ed Hardy logo that would be cool... and DON'T put a big ass Ed Hardy on the butt of anymore men's jeans... I don't want any man's name on my ass.

Parish: Y'all are trying to hard. That is all.

Akademiks: I just feel bad because even Prps is like the new baby and Akademiks gets no love. Slimmer jeans and themes that aren't as extra would be a good look. And make some 32x34 jeans. Cut it out with this 32x33 business.

That's all for now. Maybe more later.

Favorite Person of the Moment: Maronzio Vance

2008-12-21T03:08:00.002-05:00

I'm thinking I'm going to make this a regular thing. Aight. So my favorite person right now is a comedian named Maronzio Vance. Funny story. So I saw dude do comedy right... on the TV. Like David Letterman or some shit like that, not in person. And he was funny has hell, but I couldn't remember his name. Then I'm looking at Facebook, checking out the mini-feed and what not like "Oh cool, some n----a that friended me two summers ago wipes his ass with 4 sheets of toilet paper, some freshman posted pictures of them drinkin... Oh? What's this? A comedian making fun of Diddy?" And I ALMOST passed it by. But I was bored as shit and decided to click the link. I was pleasantly surprised to find it was Maronzio Vance and I was like "Man this dude was funny on whatever late show I saw him on" and then he proceeded to deliver the funniest, saddest, but most honest analysis of Diddy and the Bad Boy Empire I have ever heard. (Which can be view below) I then proceeded to check out his other videos and dude is HILARIOUS. Checked out his blog and myspace page and shit... googled him got his home address and phone number... sent him some letters (nah I'm playing). But definitely check him out. Unfortunately he kinda falls into that category of artists whose work I thoroughly enjoy... when they aren't too busy bitching and moaning about the industry. The shits not fair, WE GET IT. Just do you, SHIT!

I think I got the time figured out

2008-12-21T01:53:00.000-05:00

See the title...

My First Real Post: Chris's Critical Beatdown

2008-12-21T00:46:00.000-05:00

Aight... I have been meaning to do this for a while. I am going to review an album by an artist that I feel like from time to time just so y'all know where I stand when it comes to music. Now first and foremost, don't get it twisted. This is not Vibe, the Source, XXL, Blender, Rolling Stone, etc. this is Chris reviewing whatever the f- music he feels like at the time/can get his hands on. I will keep it real and pull no punches. Don't get upset if I don't like your favorite artist. I don't care if you met the love of your life while dancing to an Ashanti song, if I think she can't sing then dammit that's how I feel. Anyway... Its time for the music.

T-Pain--Thr33 Ringz

Ok, for real. When I heard the title and saw the spelling I thought to myself, "Cot Dammit! This damn Myspace spelling shit has got to stop. I know I misspell a word from time to time but I will be damned if numbers are acceptable replacements for letters. My world was f-ed up enough when I started Algebra, this is just uncall

ed for and ignorant!" But I digress. Anyway, Theodore Pain hit the nail on the head with this album. A lot of people bitch and moan about him using auto-tune and stuff like that, but they are missing the point. If you don't like auto-tune, that's fine. Listen to neo-soul and don't worry about it. Timothy Pain, however, is making music to entertain and he does a damn good job at it. Its not about feeling the pain of a woman who cheated on him and relating and crying all over your keffiyeh and -ish, its about sitting back and laughin

g about that time you went out with your boys and your homie fell in love with a woman named Ferrari who was a student/dancer/actor/model who allegedly had a 3.9 GPA and could make

her buttocks clap like those little clackers with the balls that like tick one at a time.

Its about sitting car, singing "OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE!"with your eyes closed and your head back while the people in the car next to you at the light wonder if you are in excruciating pain. With that being said, Thr33 Ringz is an album full of singles and club bangers made for people to dance to and have a good time. In a day and age where R&B is hyper sexual, Hip Hop is full of fake drug kingpins and studio gangstas, Thelonius Pain makes fun, funny, music that everyone can dance to. Honestly, I could play quite a few of these tracks for like my parents and their friends (provided they were edited) and I think they would dance to it. Simply put, the album is a banger. Great features including Kanye, Weezy (enough said for most of you Weezy heads out there), Luda is back on his Word of Mouf funny flow type stuff, Ciara, Chris Brown (more on that dude later), Akon, and even Mary J. Blige and Musiq for you R&B purists out there. Now... Diddy and DJ Khaled make appearances and are counted as features but... DAMMIT neither one of them sings or raps. They just ad lib. More thoughts on those two in later posts. Tracks that stand out: Chopped n' Screwed, Freeze, Blowing Up, Therapy, Karaoke.

Now for the rating (out of 5 C's)

Beats: ©©©©

Lyrics: ©©©©

Substance: ©©

Advice: Cop it!

OH! By the way

2008-12-21T00:39:00.000-05:00

Ignore the times on the posts for now. Blogspot doesn't have this shit streamlined so I can just pick regular ass Eastern Standard Time there are like 320498203482048230 different Eastern Time zones with no cities that I can say I live near so for now... I am on Cali time.

Welcome

2008-12-21T00:13:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, welcome to my foray into the world of internet blogging. When blogs first came out, I honestly was was like "wtf?! who is going to read this mess." Then I found myself reading peoples blogs because hey, sometimes they have some funny and enlightening things to say. About the title. Let me first say that I am NOT a Booker T. Washington fan. I will admit that the man cared about Black people and said what he felt was best at the time, BUT some of what he said was coonery. Plain and simple. But I went to this Black student leadership conference and I forget what the actual theme was, but the opening speaker referenced Booker Taliafaro and told us to "cast down our buckets". Now, me and my friends (being the militant well read African American students that we are) where like "OH HELL NO! We know what he meant. You not gonna tell ME to cast my bucket down! I'm not tap dancing for these (insert racial epithet for White people)!" DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to my White brothers and sisters, I'm just being honest with the emotions that were felt at the time. Ok, so anyway. For some reason, the other speakers felt that that line was hot fiya (not "fire", "fiya". Its pronounced just like it is spelled) and would just throw it in their speeches... shit they threw it in the announcements. Folks would get to the mic and say something like, "Just a reminder, make sure that you all behave yourselves while we are staying here at the hotel. We want to make sure that when we cast down our buckets, we make a good impression." And on the inside I would think,"Sweet Jesus... Am I at a leadership conference or the Mid-Atlantic Summit on Bucket Casting!?" But that was a funny experience for me and thanks to inspiration from my homie Cynthia I decided to title my blog "Hey Bo Jangle! Cast down your bucket, my brother" (you gotta yell the first part like Dave Chappelle or something). But enjoy. I will probably go threw phases where I post like 43457231432143242142 times a day, then you don't get another post for like 7... 19 months. But we will see. Again. Enjoy.